Earn this?

It has been a remarkable weekend. 

Today was an unusual Easter for our family as we fully expected to make church this morning.  But somehow, the day took a different direction.  Spent some time this morning reading Barbara Brown Taylor, the Proverbs, making and eating pancakes with the kids and talking with Jessica.  We decorated Easter eggs and hid them in the yard to be found by our energetic little ones.  Somehow, it seemed equally as fitting as worship in a more formal house of the Lord.

Jessica found a great craft - which consisted of three small stick crosses, small rocks, a tomb (small painted cup), all arranged in a large planter.  We spread some wild flower seeds in hopes that colorful petals will soon grace the scene.  Both the Easter egg hunting and planter were accompanied by readings of the Crucifixion and Resurrection.  I was reminded that Bryton recently blurted out during a "children's sermon" that God hunts for us like Easter eggs.  From the mouths of babes.

We watched the Passion of the Christ and aside from not being able to watch the flogging scene - I am overwhelmed.  I don't know that I agree with C. S. Lewis (at least as I understand his commentary, and quite possibly incorrectly), that art and iconography serve two distinct purposes.  I am moved as much by that film as I have been by any icon.  I favor Ignatius's endorsement of the integral relationship between imagination and worship.  And I think the imagination must be supplemented on occasion by art.  And aptly so.

More importantly, I thought of another film scene today while taking in the Passion.  In Saving Private Ryan, the young Private is told to "earn this," in an emotional closing scene.  He is told to live a life worthy of those lives lost in an attempt to deliver an only saving son to a mother.  As I watched the Passion, I couldn't help but remember that weighty charge.  "Earn this," certainly that must be what He calls me to do.  And I attempted briefly to reconcile that charge in my mind with the Crucifixion.  Yet I finally conceded that there exists not a graceful or catchy reconciliation when it comes to earning anything that happened on that hill outside of Jerusalem so many years ago.  I cannot earn it. 

And yet, why do I feel like I must die trying?  Perhaps better to live striving to simply draw close as I can to His saving grace. 

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