Peacocks and The Great Sin

I read CS Lewis's chapter on "The Great Sin," in Mere Christianity yesterday.  Can't help but love a guy that has the marbles to call each of us "little idiots:"  

(3)  We must not think Pride is something God forbids because He is offended at it, or that Humility is something He demands as due to His own dignity—as if God Himself was proud. He is not in the least worried about His dignity. The point is, He wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And He and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him you will, in fact, be humble—delightedly humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made you restless and unhappy all your life. He is trying to make you humble in order to make this moment possible: trying to take off a lot of silly, ugly, fancy-dress in which we have all got ourselves up and are strutting about like the little idiots we are. I wish I had got a bit further with humility myself: if I had, I could probably tell you more about the relief, the comfort, of taking the fancy-dress off—getting rid of the false self, with all its 'Look at me' and 'Aren't I a good boy?' and all its posing and posturing. To get even near it, even for a moment, is like a drink of cold water to a man in a desert.

(4)  Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call 'humble' nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably, all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realise that one is proud. And a biggish step, too.  At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.

In Proverbs this morning, I read 8:13:

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil;
Pride and arrogance and the evil way.

The dictionary defines pride as:
a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

So, I cannot help but conclude that pride is a topic upon which this man is meant to reflect.  Of course I have a high and inordinate opinion of myself.  Shouldn't I?  I suppose that has been my general (and unsuccessful) approach to things for years and years.  I am important, meritorious, and although I may not always be vocal in putting my pride out there - that doesn't mean that it has not rolled around in my head on a continual basis. There is a lot of proud "talking" going on between my ears.

I think of the peacock strutting around doing that goofy thing with its neck - bobbing back and forth.  Foolish looking but impervious.  Despite feeling more connected to God than I have perhaps in my lifetime (but still feeling unsure of my footing in faith) - I have struggled lately with whether I should post pieces of a religious nature.  Will my friends and family think I am turning into a religious freak?  What if I cannot sustain my attempted path of  walking closer to the Divine.  Will I appear as a hypocrite, failure, or bumbling fool (or some combination thereof)?

I have realized that if I am too proud to talk about God - I am too foolish to accept His grace.  So I am taking Lewis's cue - and at least accept that I am proud.  Now as with my other defects, I will ask Him to remove my pride.  


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